Department of Self Love

🍎 Counter-Surveillance Report: Productivity Observes Nourishment During Lunch

—

by

Department of Self Love
in

Date: 26 September 2025
From: Office of Productivity & Purpose
To: All Staff, Department of Self Love
Subject: Nourishment’s Lunch Operations (Case Study)

Observation

At 12:05 p.m., Productivity & Purpose (P&P) infiltrated Nourishment & Energy’s (N&E) quarters to “audit efficiency.” Instead, we found… a showcase.

  • Staff seated at a long dining table, laptops closed.
  • Plates arranged in rainbow formation:
    • ❤️ tomatoes,
    • 🧡 roasted pumpkin,
    • 💛 corn kernels,
    • 💚 bok choy,
    • 💙 blueberries,
    • 💜 purple cabbage.
  • Protein measured by palm, carbs cupped by hand, water glasses refilled at 50% capacity — before they were empty.
  • Team Leader stood at the head, leading a toast: “Lunch is policy.”

Findings

  • Meals consumed at consistent pace (chewing logged at 12–15 seconds per bite).
  • No staff attempted to eat while typing.
  • Conversation was light, warm, and concluded in sync at 12:25 p.m. sharp.
  • Cleanup completed in under 3 minutes.

Productivity’s Notes (reluctant admiration)

  • “Discipline level: frightening.”
  • “Rainbow plating: worthy of a corporate photoshoot.”
  • “Lunch efficiency rating: 100%. No wasted motion.”
  • “Perhaps… fuel is strategy.”

Reflection

Productivity entered to critique, but left taking notes. If efficiency means getting more done with less chaos, then Nourishment may be the true role model.

Respectfully submitted,
Office of Productivity & Purpose
“Because even momentum runs better on fuel.”

Comments

Leave a comment