Department of Self Love

🍱 Surveillance Report – Productivity’s Lunch Habits

—

by

Department of Self Love
in

Date: 24 September 2025
From: Office of Nourishment & Energy
To: All Staff, Department of Self Love
Subject: Productivity’s Lunch Habits, Observed in the Wild

Observation

At 12:07 p.m., Nourishment & Energy (N&E) entered Conference Room B unannounced, citing “routine lunchtime surveillance.” Productivity & Purpose (P&P) were mid-sprint planning.

N&E positioned quietly behind the chairs and looked over shoulders. Findings as follows:

  • Observed intake:
    • 1 cold wrap, half-unwrapped, abandoned near a laptop.
    • 2 empty coffee cups, one refill in progress.
    • Zero water bottles visible.
  • Behaviours:
    • Eating while typing → crumbs embedded in keyboard.
    • 1 staffer whispered, “We’ll eat properly later,” but evidence suggests this was unlikely.

Field Notes (collected in real time)

  • “Paper bag ≠ food group.”
  • “Garnish is not a vegetable.”
  • “Protein sighting: questionable.”
  • “Refuel > multitask. Lunch is not a side quest.”

Directive

N&E reminds Productivity:

  • Lunch is not optional fuel.
  • Water must accompany caffeine.
  • A 10-minute pause is not lost time — it is preserved capacity.

Reflection

Self-love is not just scheduling outputs; it is staging your inputs. Even ambition runs better on a steady lunch.

Respectfully submitted,
Office of Nourishment & Energy
“Because fuel is non-negotiable — even when under surveillance.”

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