📎 Attachment: Leaked Slack Chat (Internal Use Only)

The following Slack exchange was not intended for public release, but somehow found its way into the shared drive. Since it’s already out there, we’ve decided to make it officially unofficial. Please enjoy this behind-the-scenes glimpse into departmental life at the Department of Self Love.

#general
[08:02 AM] productivity_bot: Just saw the memo. Finally. A proper review.

[08:03 AM] emo_wellbeing: 😱 wait I thought we were still processing Week 2??

[08:05 AM] self_discovery: What is time? 👀

[08:06 AM] onboarding: Do we need name tags? I’ll make name tags.

[08:07 AM] nourishment_energy: Is there catering? Asking for… all of us.

[08:08 AM] emo_wellbeing: OMG yes, can we have tea and like… emotional snacks??

[08:09 AM] body_relations: Requesting ergonomic seating and no standing agenda items, thanks.

[08:10 AM] nourishment_energy: 🫖🍵 I’ll bring ginger tea. And walnuts. Unless we’re still pretending sugar doesn’t exist?

[08:11 AM] self_discovery: Is walnut… a metaphor?

[08:12 AM] productivity_bot: Can we focus please? I’m trying to update the Q2 insights dashboard.

[08:13 AM] onboarding: I made a folder called “Meeting Prep.” Subfolders include “Feelings,” “Actual Work,” and “Snacks.”

[08:14 AM] director_selflove: 👀 seen