🧾 Field Notes: Expense Claim – Emotional Labour, Weekend Edition

Date: 27 July 2025
From: Internal HR Department
To: All Departments Currently Holding It Together
Subject: Formal Submission of Weekend Emotional & Logistical Labour Expenses

Dear Team,

This memo serves as an official submission of an Expense Claim for weekend-related emotional and logistical labour.

📌 Claim Items for Reimbursement:

– 3 loads of laundry folded without applause or standing ovation
– Grocery expedition completed during peak-hour chaos (incl. cart Tetris & parking diplomacy)
– Emotional regulation exercised during Aisle 6 snack negotiations
– One (1) slice of chocolate cake consumed strictly for morale support
– Fridge restocking operations carried out with care, intention, and sore feet

Receipts:
None. Just vibes, mild exhaustion, and stir-fry-scented hair.

⚙️ Operational Notes:

– Culinary overachievement detected; foot pain logged
– Post-lunch clean-up performed while resisting gravity
– Clothes folded under low-light motivation and ambient sighing

🛠️ Claim Status:

Under internal review. HR strongly recommends the following reimbursements:
– One ergonomic footrest with optional leg elevation protocol
– Full expectation shutdown until further notice
– One metaphysical coffee, hot and imaginary
– Two (2) guilt-free scrolls through random memes
– And absolutely no dishes tonight. That is non-negotiable.

Warm regards,
Internal HR Department
Office of Productivity & Purpose

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P.S.
IT has flagged unusually high usage of the “Self-Sacrifice” app. A scheduled nap has been pre-approved to restore optimal functioning. Reboot gently.